how do you decide?

this has been my struggle this past week. 
how do we decided?

God has placed a call on our life to adopt an older child.  when i say older, i mean between the ages of 3-7 years old.  you would be surprised at the number of children who will not get adopted simply because they are a little bit older. 

it breaks my heart.
causes me to weep.
keeps me awake at night.
tossing and turning.
hoping sleep will simply come quickly.
because i cannot think of the children who will be left.
i cannot think of the sweet faces that will remain.
feeling like, 'why not me?'
i wrestle with numbers.
i ask God for clear guidance and direction.
i plead for the lives of these children.
i ache for the lives of these children.
faces i have never seem.
lives i may never know.
hearts that i will never truly bind to mine.

so how are we supposed to choose just one? 
one child when i wish i could take them all home with me.
give them love.
a place to call their own.
a place to be an individual.
a place that represents them.

please pray in the next few weeks... as we await our referral, that God would place in our lives the perfect child, for our little family, that he would know us in a way that we cannot describe, that we would know him in that same way.  pray that our home study would move quickly.  that all our paperwork would be finished in a way that blows our mind away.  that in those moments we can say, only God could have made that happen.

also pray for a sweet friend of mine who is adopting through the same agency as us.  pray that they would raise their money for their adoption quickly.  they are very close in the process to us... they are a little bit ahead of us.  pray that God would orchestrate it so we all get to go over to DRC together.  it is the desire of both our families to do so.  i love you jeff & kara brown!

updates & dreams.

updates & dreams.

yep.  that's what we will title this post.
it's perfect actually.
here you go.

updates: 

we have settled into our new little life here in idaho falls.  we have felt more welcomed and more loved than we could ever imagine.  we are blessed beyond words &  so thankful to be here.  we love it.

kids are enjoying their new school & settling into the life God has placed us in.

todd has started meeting with the youth of christ community church.  we are so excited as we watch the connections form perfectly with the high school & junior high students, as well as with the staff.

dreams: 

dreams come in so many different ways.  they are wrapped up into our hearts.  carried with us forever or just for a short time.  yet, from time to time they get unwrapped for all to see and for all to experience.  that is what is about to happen to us.  our dreams are being unwrapped one corner at a time.  are you ready to hear about ours?

small amount of background for our perfectly exciting dream:  back in 1999 a little seed was planted in my heart as a strong and courageous friend handed her daughter over to a family that was waiting to adopt her.  it was because of that strength in my friend that i knew my life would one day be changed like that adopted families life had been forever changed.  it was a dream that would take a number of years to ever be considered a reality.  todd wasn't ready... YET.  then again, 3 years ago... we watch another sweet and precious family adopt their amazing son O.  it was as i held him for the first time that the hope seemed to slip further from my reality.  but in all her wisdom, kat told me to be patient, wait, and pray.  her wisdom knew that we both needed to be firmly on board with the adoption to ever transpire in our family the way God would design it.  todd still wasn't ready.  after MANY years of prayer for todd's heart to be ready (and after reading 'radical' by david platt), he knew his life would be changed as well... changed forever.

'you are the helper of the fatherless. LORD, you have heard the desire of the humble; you will prepare their heart; you will cause your ear to hear, to do justice to the fatherless and the oppressed, that the man of the earth may oppress no more.'

Psalms 10:14,17-18

we are super excited to announce that we are adopting.  eekkk.... i am so excited!!!  i could just scream & cry (which i have done many times).  our journey began back in october.  we were driving home from some friends house in salem oregon when todd simply shared with me that he 'was ready'.  he knew that our family was supposed to adventure into a new journey in life; we were supposed to adopt.  i did all i could not to burst into tears of joy!  so instead, we began to talk through our different options.  the one thing that we knew, was that we were going to be adopting from Africa, but we were not sure what country we were going to be adopting from.  

but we do now!  {insert a giddy grin} we are adopting from the beautiful country of the democratic republic of the congo (DRC for short) (check out a little bit about the country: link here).  and going through an agency called a love beyond borders (link here).  a love beyond borders spoke deeply to us because they adopted waiting children.   a waiting child is a child who stays in one place, waiting with anticipation to be chosen into a family. they are ready, expecting, yet day after day they sit and wait for a family to call their own. some will find one, and some will not.  this agency was perfect for us.  we knew we had found the perfect organization.  we wanted a waiting child.  a child that might not typically be the first to be chosen.  a child older than 3, yet younger than jt.  so a love beyond borders was just for us!

ash & jt are excited.  in case you were wondering.  ash actually heard us talking about all the costs of the adoption & wanted to help out.  remember her little business she has going on:

hope & love

well... she has raised $650 for compassion.  during christmas time she bought bibles, a cow, pigs, seeds for people to plant, chickens, medical care, safe water, & a playground.  all totaling $650.  we were so proud of her.  she has decided to donate all of her new earnings (until we finish our adoption) to the fees we have for our adoption.  she then says she is going to go back to saving more for her compassion kids (as she calls them).  her heart never ceases to amaze me.

she also gave todd & i blue bracelets to wear so we would remember to pray for her sibling.  why blue you ask?  because that is the color of the of the DRC flag of course.

so now what? 

please pray for us.  we are moving through our home study in our new state of idaho.  everything is moving forward quickly, smoothly & with a lot of excitement and anticipation.   we couldn't be more excited about bringing home another sweet face to love, care for, cherish & join our crazy, silly family.  

pray that we would be able to raise the perfect amount of money that God has set for us to raise in order to make the transition smooth and wonderful.  

pray for protection over our sweet little guy (who we do not know just yet) as we cannot protect and care for him ourselves.  my heart already longs to hold and love on him.

we know for sure that we are adopting 1 boy.  pray for the peace in that.  we initially had desired to bring home 2 little boys, but we are sensing God leading us to just 1.  pray that we are making the right decision and that we are truly heeding Gods calling in our life & if that calling were to change, make it abundantly clear to the both of us.

thank you for sharing in our news.  joining us in our excitement.  anticipating the arrival of our little guy.  praying for our journey.  we will keep you posted with prayer requests.

hugs.

summer

explanation of absence.

explanation of an absence from blogging:

us the day todd submitted his resume to idaho.

our adventure in life continues.
about 4 months ago todd & i felt a calling.
yep felt it.
we knew God was changing something.
in our lives.
in our hearts.
a calling he sure did.
todd submitted his application to a church in idaho.
yep.  idaho.  idaho falls to be exact.

this california girl who absolutely loves big cities.  loves convenient shopping.  loves sitting on the beach at sunset. loves big crowds and chaos.  horns honking.  concrete jungle type of chaos.  who moved to what she thought was a small town in oregon almost 2 years ago... now goes even smaller.  we are trading big cities for small towns.  beaches for snowboarding slopes (not a bad trade).  big crowds for a small town.  concrete for prairie type field surrounding our new little city.

we could not be more excited. 

on wednesday morning, we leave.  our new adventure has already begun, but that is when we take off from oregon & adventure to idaho falls, idaho.  ashlynn and i are leaving after the boys.  she has an ortho appointment that day (getting a permanent retainer and her new upper retainer) & making a few stops along the way.  one last goodbye to my best friend in salem (kara) & of course anthropologie.  insert sigh.

God has definitely drawn us to this church.  to idaho.  to this new ministry.  we really couldn't be more excited if we tried.  God continues to do big things in our lives (we will share more later), but it is evident God is at work.

tearful goodbyes.
extreme chaos.
cardboard boxes.
moving trucks.
sad children.
but still following Jesus.

us the day todd submitted his resume to idaho.

hope & love.

ashlynn asked me to post about her stuff... she has no idea that i just did that, but i told her i would do it anyway.  here are the codes for her discounts.

discount codes for hope & love...
orders of $40 or more: 10% off... "enter christmas10"
orders of $50 or more: 20% off... "enter christmas20"

thanks for all the support.

hope & love

hugs.

summer

 & {ash}

fun discounts.

10% & 20% discount & a free bracelet... just by doing a few things.

1.  if you re-post this to facebook/ a blog & leave a comment that you did (make sure to leave you email address)... i will email you a discount code.
2.  if you mention this on facebook... tagging hope & love website: i'll email you a discount code.
3.  if you purchase a leather cuff you get a free 'faith.hope.love.' bracelet.
4.  if you leave a comment below about a favorite christmas tradition... ashlynn will give away a 'faith.hope.love' bracelet to 1 winner.

help her reach her goals.

hope & love
10% off any purchase & 20% off purchase larger than $50

star.

it's starting to feel like christmas.

& since i live far from friends and family...

i need to get cracking on getting gifts wrapped & shipped.

i usually wrap in brown paper & twine.

this year i am going to add a little bit extra.

this crocheted star & clay tag.

here is how to make the the crochet star... in case you want to make some.

they are super easy!!!

crochet star:

size H8/ 5mm crochet hook

chain 4.  join with a slip stitch to form a ring.

round 1:  ch 2 (counts as first hdc).  9 more hdc into ring (10 hdc).  Join with sl st to beginning ch-2.

round 2: ch 5 (counts as sc + ch-4).  *skip 1 stitch.  SC in next stitch.  ch 4.*  Repeat around to create 5 petals.  Join by working a sc inside the first petal.

round 3: joining sc counts as first sc.  1 hdc, 2 dc, chain 4, 2 dc, 1 hdc, 1 sc into first petal.  *Skip sc and into next chain-4 petal work: 1 sc, 1 hdc, 2 dc, chain 4, 2 dc, 1 hdc, 1 sc*  join by working a sl st into first stitch.

hope & love: leather cuffs

wide leather cuffs are here.

ashlynn is pretty excited about them.

she is learning how to stamp on the leather.

another adventure as mom & daughter.

but a fun adventure.

check them out here:

wide leather cuff

$25 each

every penny goes to ashlynn's

campaign for gifts of compassion
her story here